Bachelor in Paradise, Episode 6

Grapes, and fine cheeses, and wines. Artifacts, precious golds. I can’t compete with a cake. Jared’s the new Ashley. Senior’s Paradise.

 

PHOTOCREDIT: MOVIETVTECHGEEKS

 

First (second and third) impressions of new arrivals:

Carl – I vaguely remember him from Andi’s season, though I don’t think he was around long. I don’t remember thinking much of him, and obviously neither did Andi, who had very good taste in comparision to other Bachelorettes.

Brett – I definitely remember his limo exit from Andi’s season, but another one I didn’t think much of at all. I would think he has become less of a douche over the past 3 years, but he did just arrive with a lamp again? Ok. He obviously missed the original reaction, and is beating a dead horse with this joke. I’m also not a fan of his fashion sense.

Ryan – Not a fucking clue. I’m not even buying the fact that he was on Kaitlyn’s season. He does actually appear to be pretty normal, though.

 

Episode recap:

We pick back up where we left off, at rose ceremony night, with Ashley crying to Jared. Her makeup stays flawless through all her tears. I do feel for Jared here, though I’m still not 100% buying that he definitely made his feelings perfectly clear over the past year. I love the edit of Ashley’s tears being heard in the background of Jared and Caila’s conversation. Carly finally admits her feelings for Evan, and I’m actually happy for him for half a second. Once again, we’re facing another rose ceremony where Daniel has more control than I think anyone would be comfortable with. Sarah’s dress is gorgeous, but meanwhile she baked Daniel a half-birthday cake and calls him daddy. Ok Sarah. Haley competes by planting a very hesitant kiss on Daniel as incentive for him to keep her (and Emily by extention). During his time with Ashley, Daniel gives her some very good advice for about 15 seconds, and then starts telling her to “slut it up.” I think Sarah is the only one of the 4 girls that is sincerely interested in Daniel.

Chris Harrison starts off the 3rd rose ceremony of the season with his usual speech on love. The roses get given out as follows: Grant to Lace, Josh to Amanda, Nick to Jenn, Vinny to Izzy, Evan to Carly, Jared to Caila, and finally Daniel to Haley. I honestly thought he was going to keep Ashley around. This would normally means that we would be saying goodbye to both her, and a very tearful Sarah. However, on Ashley’s exit, she has the driver stop and dramatically returns to Paradise. She confesses to everyone that her conversation (with Jared) was one that should’ve been had a long time ago, and asks everybody if they would let her stay in Paradise, now with an open-mind and fresh perspective. They decide to let her stay, though I’m not sure if it was a unanimous decision. Caila definitely isn’t happy.

The next day, new arrivals begin to arrive, beginning with Carl. Haley is very attracted to him right away. Immediately following him, Brett arrives. Ashley lights up instantly, as does Izzy. Uh oh. Both men are given date cards. Brett extends Caila the offer to be his date, and she accepts. Her and Jared then have a weird, cryptic conversation. Then she pulls Brett aside for another agonizing conversation. Jesus, Caila, its only a date. Apparently at some point, Carl asked Emily on the date? I completely missed that. And for some reason nobody could remember Carl’s name.

 

PHOTO CREDIT: ABC

 

While Caila is off on her date, Ashley takes full advatage. Jared and Ashley lay around on the beach bed together, flirting and smiling, which is another instance of Jared not correctly shutting things down. The double-date is mostly uninteresting, and Carl and Emily are being disgusting. Caila is at least more relateable on the date, obviously feeling uncomfortable. She definitely shouldn’t be spending her time discussing her indecisiveness and Jared with Brett, though. When they come back from the date, Caila pulls Jared aside and has a decently honest conversation with him about her feelings. Ashley has a moment of clarity in her ITM, accepting that Jared doesn’t want to be with her.

Later that night, Ryan shows up, date card in hand. Him and Jared go off to have a discussion, and he tried to pawn Ashley off on Ryan. Are you kidding, Jared? He doesn’t look anything like a Disney prince. Ryan asks Haley on the date, and big dog is not happy that silver fox is stealing pigeon, or something. I honestly can’t get enough of Daniel quotes, that “big hunk of meat.” I’m really starting to be sold on this alien theory. On the date, Haley is very excited to be riding a magical horse. (Seriously, why can’t her or Ashley just like Daniel? The conversations would be pure gold.) Back at Paradise, Grant plans a couple’s massage for himself and Lace. Grants tells Lace that he loves her, and of course she asks for specifics. It’s actually a pretty sweet moment. When Lace comes back from her time with Grant, her and Izzy have a conversation about Izzy’s feelings for Vinny. Izzy pulls Brett aside for a conversation, and talks to him about Vinny, and her immediate attraction for Brett. All in all, it’s a pretty sleazy move on her part. (Imagine if the roles were reserved, and Vinny had this conversation with a new girl that he just met.) When she talks to Vinny, she tells him that she doesn’t feel 100% about their relationship, basically based on the fact that she’s attracted to somebody else. I think all the viewers (especially Vinny’s mother) are trying to figure out what the fuck is wrong with this girl. The next morning, all of Paradise is discussing Izzy’s character, and it’s definitely refreshing to see everybody’s reactions. Raw moments like this, as small as the topic may be, are what make the show hit home with viewers. You see the entire cast supporting Vinny and his feelings, and also see Nick and Carly being voices of reason. The episode ends on a cliffhanger, with Vinny waiting to talk to Izzy.

 

Who I would like to see stick around:

Vinny, Ashley

 

Who I’ve had enough of:

Izzy

 

Couples I’m rooting for:

Grant and Lace

 

Cringe-worthy couples:

Carl and Emily

 

Best moments of the episode:

This gem from Daniel: “You should try to be a big dog like me, then uh, maybe we could create a little wolfpack, and roam free, and you know, find uh, some little puppies to snag and bring to our den together”

Carly, Lace, and Evan being almost enjoyable

 
Worst moments of the episode:

Caila’s conversations with Jared and Brett

Izzy’s poor decision making

Bachelor in Paradise 3, Episode 5

The Ashley I. episode. They hate you ’cause they ain’t you.

 

PHOTO CREDIT: ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY

First (second and third) impressions of new arrivals:
Ashley I. – I did my impression in the last post. Love her or hate her, she’s here, and isn’t likely to be leaving very quickly.

Jen – If you’re like me, you’ll remember Jen because you had her winning the season in your Bachelor Bracket. (My top 3 was Jojo, Olivia, and Jen.) She’s fairly reserved, and absolutely beautiful.

 

PHOTO CREDIT: HOLLYWOODTAKE VIA ABC

Episode recap:
Finally, Ashley arrives in Paradise. (I think we are safe to drop the I.) I live for this girl’s facial expressions. Of course, she pulls Jared off to the side, and he talks to her about his interest in Caila. Cue Ashley fighting back tears, and a side view of her great contour. Then she wants to talk to the twins. Has she even met them before? Ashley reveals that she had confided in Caila about Jared, and Caila had assured her that he wasn’t her type. Ashley then talks to a parrot for a while (which is much better than a raccoon). Caila and Ashley speak, and Caila is extremely cautious and apologetic with everything she says. Caila doesn’t deny that she said Jared wasn’t her type, and Ashley is honest and straight-foward the entire conversation. Ashley and Jared talk again, and it’s more of the same bullshit where Jared repeatedly tells Ashley that he doesn’t want her to leave. I get it, he’s a nice guy, but he’s lacking in tact and a backbone.

Ashley finally settles on Daniel for her date. This is probably the best match in the history of the show. The blend of Daniel’s awkward conversation with Ashley’s expressive faces is pure gold. Ashley is the first person other than Chad that I’ve seen hold a fluent conversation with Daniel. Of course the topic of Jared gets brought up, but surprisingly not by Ashley. Everything that comes out of this girl’s mouth always makes it seem like Jared really has strung her along quite a bit for the past year. Ashley is actually quite sweet and honest towards Daniel, which again, is a big part of her likability. Back at Paradise, Jared is doing his best to keep things on the right course with Caila. She is extremely determined not be the villain in the scenario.

The next day, Nick points out how happy everyone is besides himself and Ashley. Seriously, how has Nick been spending his time, other than talking to the twins? Jen arrives at Paradise, and Nick seems to perk up pretty quickly at the sight of her. To his delight, Jen asks him on the date. Their date consists of going yachting, and the pair jump very quickly into confessing their attraction and being physical. Jen is making things pretty easy for Nick, which makes me think they may not last long. Andi and Kaitlyn were both strong, hard-to-get women, so that may be more of his type. I just don’t think he enjoys things going smoothly, nor having the upper-hand. There’s some creepy Evan/Carly/ambulance/hospital nonsense going on in the meantime, and Carly is starting to open up to the idea of Evan again. (Aka, she is aboard the Evan train?)

The episode goes to rose ceremony night, where Caila voices her concerns to Jared, and he says he is definitely giving his rose to her. Nick says all the things to Ashley that Jared has should’ve said a year ago, telling her that her and Jared will never be together. When Jared and Ashley sit down to talk, he isn’t exactly nice to her. I could easily sway to either side with my opinion on this, because I understand both of their perspectives, but I can’t help but feel it’s Jared’s fault this is happening. I’m not saying Ashley isn’t delusional. The episode ends with a preview of the drama that is to come with next episode, and hopefully it won’t be a letdown.

 

Who I would like to see stick around:

Ashey I.

 

Who I’ve had enough of:

Evan, Carly

 

Couples I’m rooting for:

Nick and Jen

 

Cringe-worthy couples:

Evan and Carly

 

Best moments of the episode:
Ashley I’s arrival

Caila’s pineapple bathing suit

Nick’s moment of honesty with Ashley

 

Worst moments of the episode:

Zero dialogue from Josh, Amanda, or Lace

Another episode where they don’t include the clips that were in the previews

Bachelor in Paradise 3, Episode 4

His polish has polish. There’s an ocean of words, but there’s no thoughts.

 

PHOTO CREDIT: PEOPLE via ABC

First (second and third) impressions of new arrivals:

Caila – I liked Caila on Ben’s season. I was glad she didn’t get the Bachelorette bill, though. And yes, Nick, she does have fantastic hair. I kind of agree with the girls that are describing Caila as too perfect. I think women like this just leave something to be desired. (Unless you’re Whitney Bischoff, who the most graceful, classy, perfect woman of all time.) I don’t have anything real to say negatively about Caila. She obviously carries herself well, and is intelligent and beautiful, while remaining humble. It’s clear why the guys would be drawn to her.

Ashley I. – Ashley I. is a guilty pleasure of mine. Though I hated her on Chris’s season, I’ve grown to love watching her, especially when she isn’t crying. Ashley shows up looking more beautiful than ever before, with great hair. Don’t get me wrong, I think Ashley is nuts, but she’s also clever, passionate, funny, and entertaining. She has an undeniable presence on the show, and people seem to either love her or hate her.

 

 
Episode recap:

The episode picks up where it left off, with Evan’s bravely stupid move of offering Amanda a self-made date card. Josh’s reaction to Evan is rudely amazing. Evan actually seemed likable and sincere in most of this segment. Josh chose not think about it, and to focus on pizza. I get it, it’s the important things in life. Cue the disgusting moaning audio that the producers insist on putting in every Josh kissing and eating segment. Amanda handled the situation with honesty, and complete grace. It reminded viewers what it is that they absolutely love and adore about Amanda.  Josh seemed much more into the fact that other guys like Amanda, and less into the sentiment she was trying to express. Then we are immediately brought back to a completely delusional Evan.

Next comes the rose ceremony night, and the women are in control. Chris Harrison advises the contestants to “Use that time wisely” like he’s fucking Tim Gunn. Sarah spends some time talking with Christian until Daniel decides to be complete cock-block. After being stung by a bee, Daniel smoothly plants a kiss on Sarah, and it was yet another disappointing kiss for the girls this season. Once again, Evan decides to step in on Josh and Amanda, and steal her away. I actually thought the conversation between Evan and Amanda was completely sincere and acceptable. Evan didn’t go into the details of Andi’s book until Amanda asked for them, he was just looking out for her and telling her to be aware. Sure, I’d bet anything that this wasn’t strictly out of friendship, but so far tonight, Evan is surprisingly 2-for-2 with not being a total creep.

 

PHOTO CREDIT: ABC

 

Once again, Josh refers to Andi’s book as a “fictional story.” Strike 2. Immediately after telling Josh she would appreciate him letting it go, out of respect for her friendship with Evan, Josh confronts him about the situation. I understand why Josh would be heated and upset, having the mind set that Amanda is his girl, but Evan wasn’t necessarily bad-mouthing him. He was passing along information that he heard, and not giving any opinions of his own other than to be alert. During his conversation with Josh, I actually agree with Evan’s point-of-view (3-3, this is really an off-night. I even enjoyed the guy’s facial expressions.). I appreciated that Evan didn’t back down from his stance or act agreeable, and he called out Josh for his cliche responses. It’s kind of disappointing, because to reiterate what I had said in Josh’s impression segment, I really did like Josh and hoped he was the decent guy he appears to be. If this is his idea of repairing his image, he’s failing. Again, what I wouldn’t give to be sitting next to Andi while she watches this for the first time, and just seeing her facial expressions. Next we jump to Nick’s conversation with Amanda, which is the It’s Not Okay recap part 2. Nick coolly makes sure he doesn’t directly insult Josh or Andi, and wisely advises Amanda to “ask the right questions.” Josh points a finger at Nick and Evan both in his ITM, but I think at this point he’s just acting hot-headed and picking fights, while completely unwilling to listen to what’s coming out their mouths.

Onto the second rose ceremony of the season, I don’t think a single person out of the millions of viewers actually believed for a second that Amanda wouldn’t still give Josh her rose. Sarah told Christian their date had been “The most amazing date, the best date I’ve ever been on my whole life,” and then referred to her kiss with Daniel as not the best. So naturally she gives her rose to …Daniel. I was personally happy to see Daniel stay, but I can’t help but feel Sarah will be regretting this decision down the road. I wasn’t surprised to see Carly still give her rose to Evan. She hadn’t been seen onscreen since telling Evan that she wasn’t that into him. Delusional hope is restored with Evan. Lock your doors in the future, Carly. I appreciated the sound clip that the producers decided to throw in, talking about telling his kids about Carly. Evan is loony enough without the placement of out-of-context audio. To the relief of viewers and producers alike (and Daniel, based on that uncontrollable smile),  Haley gives her rose to Nick. Goodbye to what’s-his-name, easily one of the least memorable contestants in Bachelor Nation history. I do feel bad for Christian, obviously not being a bad guy.

We had another mid-episode rose ceremony, something I can’t get used to. The next day, Caila arrives. Most of the guys are drawn to her immediately. As pointed out by Carly, Jared instantly lit up upon seeing her. I haven’t seen him excited about somebody since Kaitlyn. Caila asks Jared on the date, and this is obviously tough for Emily. Jared was a total gentleman, making sure to discuss things with Emily before agreeing to the date. Again, I admire contestants that are able to have the tough conversations, instead of ignoring other people’s feelings. Emily also handled the discussion with Jared with class.

 

PHOTO CREDIT: INQUISITR via ABC

 

“No one falls in love on horse.” These two look like a romance novel cover while on horseback in the ocean, and Jared appears to be absolutely smitten and happy. He has a lot of sweet, complimentary things to say about Caila, and they share their first kiss on the beach. And for once in Paradise, it was not a terrible-looking kiss. Back at the house (I’ve decided this will be the easiest thing to call it until somebody corrects me), Daniel is being weird, Izzy and Vinny are acting like a real couple, and Josh and Amanda won’t stop being too affection in front of other people. Lace has been much more enjoyable now that she’s comfortable and secure with Grant. This is the side of Lace I definitely wouldn’t mind seeing more of. Sarah and Carly are being miserable and bitter together. When Jared comes back from his date, he pulls Emily aside to tell her he is going to be pursuing his relationship with Caila. “I guess you really can fall in love horseback riding.”

A date card arrives, and it’s a double-date for Izzy and Lace, so Grace and Vizzy finally get out of the house. They all said some very sweet things to each other at dinner, and seemed pretty down-to-Earth. Meanwhile, Carly and Sarah decide to make the best of things and invite Evan and Daniel to their room for an impromptu double-date. Yes, dating Daniel and zero-swag Evan is making the the best of things. Carly begins to warm up to Evan, while Evan says creepy, intense things about a girl he’s known for about a week or so. After their goodbyes, the producers suddenly can’t wake up Evan, which I really just don’t understand what was happening. Of course this turned into Carly having to spend time with Evan, and him taking full advantage of her pity and concern for him by being creepy once again.

Meanwhile, Nick is having a hard time, and again being very self-deprecating. They show Amanda and Josh going to bed, while showing not only Nick’s sadness, but a very weird and disgusting montage of innuendo-y footage. The next day, we see Jared and Caila being very comfortable and easy with each other, so naturally, we know what’s around the corner. Cue the ominous tones, and the arrival of Ashley I. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t excited for the inevitable “Ashley I of the hurricane.”

Who I would like to see stick around:

Nick, Ashley I., and Lace

Who I’ve had enough of:

Evan, Carly, and Josh
Couples I’m rooting for:

Vinny and Izzy

Cringe-worthy couples:

Evan and Carly
Best moments of the episode:

Haley giving Nick her rose.

The date between Jared and Caila.

Ashley’s arrival to Paradise.
Worst moments of the episode:

Josh’s temper.

Evan’s confusing need for a medic, and Carly’s attention.

Bachelor in Paradise 3, Episode 2

Daniel Speed Dating, Confessions from the self-proclaimed Big Dog Eagle. Chapter 1, Are you an onion or an orange?

PHOTO CREDIT: ABC

 

First (second and third) impressions of the new arrivals:

Leah – Leah started Ben’s season alright, and then became the two-faced villain, seemingly to her own accord. Now she has a new face. I’m a firm believer in doing whatever you want to your body if it will make you happy, but there seems to be a lack in self-esteem in this case, along with the delusional behavior of thinking you’re hotter and skinnier than other girls. In other words, Leah seems shallow and insecure. If they wanted to bring on the “dumb, blonde girl,” they should’ve stuck with Megan Bell. She at least least offered an adorable silliness that Leah is too into herself to present.

Josh – As Andi’s season progressed, I liked Josh more and more. However, I have heard some of the contents of Andi’s book, and they do not depict Josh in a good light, so we’ll see how he reacts to that. So far, he’s very Josh Murray. I don’t know how else to put it. He carries himself in a very specific way.

 

Episode recap:

Time is wasted talking about Chad. Then Leah arrives, and a lot of girls talk shit on her, while she spends her ITMs talking about what good friends she is with all the girls from her season. Of course she comes in looking for Chad, and thinks that their mutual like of protein (um, ok?) is a recipe for them being a perfect match. There’s nothing entertaining about the first 20 minutes of the show, except for maybe noticing how flattering Sarah’s hair looks pulled back. I think I appreciated Nick saying he was honestly just interested in Leah from a sexual chemistry standpoint? I’m really not even sure.

As always, the new arrivals come with a date card in hand. So naturally, in true BIP fashion, it’s time for Leah to make the rounds and mingle, while the other women discuss it making them nervous that she could potentially steal their interest. There’s more clique behavior among the girls, and the twins rudely mock Leah’s lip injections and Botox in their shared ITM. Leah of course asks Nick on the date, and Amanda is reasonably disappointed. Cue the montage of the twins eating bananas.

Another underwhelming date, full of margaritas and some awkward comments from Leah. Later in the evening, a random date card arrives, and this time it’s for Nick. To the viewers’ relief, Nick extends the offer to Amanda to be his date. Leah immediately starts acting like a creep, and it’s uncomfortable for everybody involved. The Nick and Amanda date is much more interesting, since it’s primarily focused on real conversation.

There are a couple first kisses. The uncomfortable Evan/Carly kiss, followed by the shallow Grant/Lace kiss. On the beach, Lace is being obnoxious and insecure as always. Then she makes a comment that made the feminist in me want to throw my TV out the window. Lace says “I’m definitely going to take advantage and make him want to give me the rose.” Does she plan on doing this through sincere conversation? Maybe impressing him with her intellect? Maybe by finding shared interests and values? Maybe by making him laugh? No, Lace is securing her rose by crawling into bed and throwing a towel over the camera. I’m not an asshole, this act alone doesn’t bother me whatsoever, but the impression that she is doing this solely with the goal of securing his interest sure does. I’m genuinely hoping that wasn’t the case, but rather an unfortunate edit.

PHOTO CREDIT: GLAMOUR via ABC

 

We are finally at the first rose ceremony night of the season. I was surprised to see that first Vinny/Sarah kiss. However, the physical connection between him and Izzy seemed much more natural. Finally, we get to the anticipated cattiness of Leah, as she displayed on Ben’s season when she knew she wasn’t likely to be staying much longer. She calls Amanda needy and dependent. On what merit? Because she’s a mother. As I said after last week’s episode, I haven’t heard anything negative about Amanda that had any true substance to it. Moving onto her conversation with Nick, Leah clearly does not know how to pick her words. She tries to appear strong and confident, but always falters. I appreciated Nick being straightforward with her, rather than waiting for the rose ceremony. From there, Leah works her charm with Daniel, and it’s your typical awkward but enjoyable Daniel conversation. Moving on, there’s a moment where Daniel actually offers a sincere compliment to Sarah, and thinking back I believe this was the first time he has ever said anything nice to somebody (other than maybe Chad). There are a few wild cards in this rose ceremony, which always means it will actually be interesting. When Daniel said they saved the best for last, it was possible he wasn’t actually referring to Sarah, but himself. Leah and Jubilee end up going home. It was a little sad to see Jubilee leave so early in the season, but she handled it gracefully in comparison to Leah. You also didn’t see her going around shamelessly flirting with anybody and everybody before the ceremony in efforts to stay, which was nice. I could’ve done without either of the girls’ parting comments.

I don’t like how they cut this episode. I’m used to the cliffhanger rose ceremony, but not one in the middle of the episode, with 30 minutes left to go. Anyway, Josh arrives the next morning, date card in hand. Of course, his date of choice is Amanda. Evan and Daniel both make Nick relive the history of himself and Josh. (How did they not know the story?) As with Andi, both Nick and Josh’s connections with Amanda seem genuine. However, the conversation between Josh and Amanda did not seem as sincere and vulnerable as it was between her and Nick. Finally, back at the resort (I still don’t know what I’m supposed to call it), Andi’s book gets brought up. This is where my favorite moment of the season so far happens. Nick says “I know the things written about me aren’t fictional. There’s at least some accuracy to them.” Viewers appreciate this sort of honest, self-deprecation. Almost instantly the show turns back to Josh on his date, where he refers to Andi’s book as a “fiction story, something that’s just not true at all.” RED FLAG, AMANDA. This is like Robby telling Jojo that he hasn’t once thought of his ex-girlfriend in the last two months. If you sway so much to one side, it’s usually bullshit. I wish Amanda had asked more questions, but she accepts his answers, and is visibly beaming for the rest of the date.

Carly isn’t that into Evan, and basically calls him a boner-killer. So conveniently, Evan ends up receiving a date card. Carly appears physically uncomfortable over the idea of this date, and is expressing some pretty truthful thoughts on him. Unfortunately, she’s doing this in an ITM, and not to Evan’s face. The date is just revolting for me, and to Carly. I instinctively wanted to look away from the disgusting Evan/pepper/Carly/drool kiss. I almost feel bad for Evan, but I feel much worse for Carly. Back on the beach, Jared seems extremely bored with his conversation with Emily. Emily is very entertaining in the scene, going through her checklist of moves to get a kiss from the guy. Some might find this arrogant or dumb, but I appreciated the honesty and humor of it. Once Josh and Amanda came back from their date, they were very together. I wish Amanda approached Nick after the date, rather than allowing Josh to act pretty obnoxious towards him. If this is part of Josh’s plan for image repair, I don’t think he’s doing a very good job of it so far.

I found out after the fact that Leah named her inflatable swan “Swan Pablo,” so that’s a point for her in my book.
Who I would like to see stick around:

Amanda, Nick, Vinny, Daniel, and Jared

Who I’ve had enough of:

Evan, Carly.

Couples I’m rooting for:

None at the moment.

Cringe-worthy couples:

Evan and Carly.

Best moments of the episode:

Nick compliments Amanda for all the right reasons, seeing the “fire” and strength beyond her obvious sweetness.

Leah’s dress and overall look at the rose ceremony.

Izzy has some really cute bathing suits.

Nick’s ITM concerning Andi’s tell-all book.

Worst moments of the episode:

I keep forgetting that chokers are on-trend again.

95% of Leah’s airtime.

 

 

 

Bachelor in Paradise 3, Episode 1

Also known as: The Chad episode.

 

Embed from Getty Images

 

First (second and third) impressions of the cast:

The twins – There seems to be two acceptable opinions of the twins. You either find them annoying, or find them entertaining. I disagree with both of these. The twins don’t exactly make for jaw-dropping entertainment, but their presence in no way bothers me. I do think they play up to what they believe their role is. Yes, singular role. I think they’re mostly nice girls. I do like them most individually, rather than together, and I am not understanding this 2-for-1 approach. Haley, I don’t like high fives, either. Or is it Emily?

Nick V. – What can I say about Nick? I love him. Sometimes, mostly after creeping his Instagram, I wish I didn’t. Another vast Bachelor fan base opinion I never agreed with was this idea that Nick is a villain. I never saw that. I adored him on Andi’s season, and felt the sting when she treated him so coldly on the AtFR (especially after spending the season acting like he was her boyfriend). I adored him just a little less on Kaitlyn’s season, but again, did not understand the villainous role. I hope he is here to stay. I know a lot of women love him.

Jubilee – I liked her on Ben’s season, then I didn’t. She seems to be approaching Paradise with an open and positive attitude, and I’m already liking her more than I had with my last impression. I would definitely say she is a more misunderstood contestant.

Evan – I am not an Evan fan. I think he is an instigator. Evan is the reason women agree with Chad saying assholes are honest, while nice guys end up being the assholes. Evan comes off as manipulative, while playing the victim. I’ve also read the post on Reddit that his ex-wife wrote. Yeah, I’m not buying Evan’s sincerity. I don’t agree with poking fun at his career, though.

Lace – So far, Lace has done nothing to alter everybody’s established impression of her. On a positive note, she has a gorgeous body, amazing eyes, and great hair, and she seems like one of those people that are far more beautiful in person than on TV. I am generally not a fan of loud or rude personalities, though.

Daniel – At first, I didn’t understand Daniel being on the show. And when I say at first, I’m including not only Paradise, but also the Bachelorette. So far, he’s been fairly entertaining and weirdly more likable and more of an asshole at the same time. How could you possibly be unimpressed on meeting girls as beautiful as Amanda and Jubilee? Regardless, he could easily end up being somebody that viewers enjoy watching.

Amanda – I’ve always been an Amanda fan, as are most viewers. Any negative remarks said about her are always shallow and meaningless insults, meaning they’re never of substance and would never change my impression of her. I guess there are people now calling her out and telling her that she is a bad mother for coming to Paradise. That’s the equivalent of saying you shouldn’t go on the show if you have children. I don’t appreciate the double-standard of this not being directed at Evan, or at JJ just last season.

Vinny – From what I remember, Vinny’s mother basically got the same amount of airtime on Jojo’s season as Vinny himself. He seems normal, which is great, just not if you’re looking for attention from the show. Also, who doesn’t appreciate bonding over close birthdays? And he does seem like a sweetheart.

Carly – I’m not the biggest Carly fan, but like with Jubilee, my opinion tends to flip flop. Sometimes she’s likable, sometimes she’s extremely annoying. I don’t exactly understand why they offered her the opportunity to appear on a show for the 3rd time. She was mostly tolerable last year because she was either busy being infatuated or her dialogue was with Jade. I do like how she handled her breakup last year, with a firm “I don’t want to hear it.” I appreciate that sort of closure, rather than torturing yourself (did someone say Ashley I.?).

Grant – Grant was an early favorite of mine on Jojo’s season, but that fizzled with his catty argument style and ex-girlfriend rumors. So far, I’m neutral. I have no reason to dislike anything about him, except for maybe the comments about Lace being a mess while being clearly attracted to her. Also, I love a tall man.

Sarah – I’m also neutral on Sarah. I think she generally gets a decent amount of airtime for not being very entertaining. She is one that I would like to see actually find love, since last year seemed to be a disappointment for her. Also, I appreciate her somewhat snarky descriptions of the other contestants.

Izzy – I honestly have no idea who Izzy is. Sarah summed it up best. Her sarong is cute, and I like her hair.

Jared – Jared is well liked for a reason. He’s cute, nerdy, smart, and kind. I get it, he’s a catch. However, I don’t like how he handled last year. He should have been more direct with Ashley I., and moved on, rather than sulking and allowing her obsession to continue week after week. Jared usually makes for decent entertain while not being remotely obnoxious or rude, which is a rarity.

Chad – Chad does not require an impression segment. What you see is what you get. I will say I appreciated him saying that the dudes were sixes while the girls were tens, and he was somewhat civil towards Evan.

Chris Harrison– As always, I enjoy moments where he is present. He is as likable as ever. In the regular show format, I love when he has strong conversations with the lead (think Andi), and I wish he were more of a presence in Paradise.

Jorge – Fans are glad to see Jorge, a nice staple of Bachelor in Paradise.

PHOTO CREDIT: ABC

 

Episode recap:

First off, I love the mentions of Jade and Tanner. As most of Bachelor Nation fans, I adore them separately, but even more together. It’s nice to see their story is inspiration for the contestants looking to find love out of this. I don’t like the guys having the power first. The women are generally more decisive and clear about what they want than the men on this show. This is why many viewers seem to enjoy the Bachelorette more than the Bachelor. A strong, decisive, no bullshit woman is equal parts empowering, passionate, dramatic (in the good way), and entertaining. I understand the power switch that will come next week, but I think the natural intuition of a woman gets wasted with the men-choose-first format. How deep of a connection could they possibly be forming in such little time? Therefore, the first rose ceremony ends up being rather shallow.

Jumping in, why did Evan think it was at all okay to go through somebody else’s luggage? Especially when that somebody is a nemesis. That is about as acceptable as poking another man’s belly button. This is exemplary behavior as to why I think he’s a major instigator. Then we have Lace acting in the exact same crazy, insecure fashion with Grant as she did on the Bachelor. You shouldn’t need to tell a guy which questions to ask you and how much attention you require. That’s like telling a man what he needs to love about you. Sure, we all think these things at times, but dignity and self-esteem are very important components to being happy, and not appearing fragile or desperate.

The first date card goes to Jubilee, and she asks Jared. Dates in Paradise are generally boring to me, and more important to the contestants than the viewers. Unlike the normal Bachelor/Bachelorette format, there is plenty of connections to see in the every day setting, making the actual dates much less intriguing. I didn’t buy the chemistry between these two, they seem much better as friends. I did appreciate their mutual respect and interest for each other, their Lord of the Rings discussion, and Jubilee’s sentiment of “I’ve been to war and back, and I can’t even handle a little freakin’ clown. I’m usually fearless.”

I think Chad chose the two worst ingredients possible for his first night in Paradise: Lace and alcohol. And Lace also having alcohol, for that matter. He should have known better, stopped himself, and realized this was not the smart path. Of course, many of his comments were crude and unforgivable, however, the behavior of everybody around the situation left a bad taste in my mouth. The house (resort? not mansion?) appeared extremely cliquey, and nobody other than Daniel, producer or contestant, seemed to have stepped up and helped diffuse the situation. I am not defending Chad’s behavior, but I don’t like when a bunch of people sit around focusing their attention on the poor decisions of somebody else, as if they have never acted like pieces of shit before in their life. Let it be very clear that I don’t blame Lace for any of what happened, either, I just think it was a diabolical match. I respect where Sarah is coming from, but she’s mature enough to know that nothing good was going to come from pushing Chad’s buttons while in the state that he was in, otherwise known as “poking the Chadbear.” It was a waste of her time and breath, and obviously did not make her or anybody else feel any better.

I don’t know how to feel about Chad being sent home like that. I’m not saying the comfort and safety of the group shouldn’t be extremely important, but maybe they could have given Chad a night 2 to redeem himself, much like when people get too drunk during the first night in the mansion. I’m honestly torn, I just feel like I would’ve liked to have seen how it would have gone with Chad there longer.

 

Who I would like to see stick around:

Nick, Amanda, Daniel (I don’t know why), and Jared.

Who I’ve had enough of:

Evan.

Couples I’m rooting for:

Nick and Amanda.

Cringe-worthy couples:

It’s too early to tell.

Best moments of the episode:

Nick suggesting Daniel may have been right in regards to the Hitler/Mussolini conversation, realizing that was not a completely ridiculous thing to say now that he had personally met Chad.

Chad’s “Dude, let’s get murdered, but like, together. Why are you being so unmurder-y? Ooh, I don’t want to get unmurdered.” That was solid gold.

Worst moments of the episode:

Chad’s rude comments towards Lace, Daniel, Sarah, and Chris Harrison.

The clique-like behavior from the group.